Dear Olivia, How Do You Convince Someone to Change?

Question: Someone told me that in order to make someone change, I must change first. Is that an efficient way to influence someone to change?

Answer: Changing someone will take some effort. Depending on the change, I would say that if you want it badly, then give it all you’ve got. And if it means changing yourself slightly for the better of you both, then I say, quoting one of my favorite books, ‘ may the odds be ever in your favor’. (P.S it was Hunger Games.)

Ever heard of that phrase ‘people can change if you give them a little push’? Well, probably not, because I just quoted myself, but that’s beyond the point. If you truly want someone to change for the better, maybe change their attitude or bad habits, then I would recommend you show them why it’s even worth their time. If it’s a bad habit that you both share then of course you should be a good example by breaking that habit first, encouraging your friend that if you can do it so can they. And you could also end up improving yourself, so that’s a bonus.

But I don’t recommend you changing EVERYTHING about yourself for this person.  You shouldn’t have to force yourself into harms way just to benefit someone else. Also, consider that you can change everything humanly possible about yourself as an example but your friend might not ever want to be different. And if that’s the case, then accepting your friend as he or she is should definitely be an option. So yes, you can change small habits and still be yourself at heart, but not if it’s not who you really are. In the end, just know you could never truly change into anyone else, so be happy being the special you that you are.

Image found here


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